Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Scientists have invented the Orgasmatron. A women pushes a button and she will have an orgasm.
That's it. Push and BOOM.
Well, we're screwed.
I don't know that many people of any geneder are strong enough to walk away from the cum button.
It will start innocently enough, the ladies will start staying home a little more. Maybe showing up to work a little late and leaving a little early. Or maybe mom will let the kids make their own breakfast before school.
Next thing you know all the females of the species are shut ins. They live on chocolate covered strawberries and merlot. They have rock hard abs and veins buldging out of their foreheads. They're bodies are taught from orgasmically convulsing, yet they never stand up right and never see the sun.
Their language has been reduced to "Yes!" "Oh God!" "Come on, One More, Yeah YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!" "Yeah, I'm dirty, You fucking Know I'm Dirty" and "Oh, fucking fuck that was fucking great."
And one day they will light their 90th cigarette of the day,(even though they only smoke after sex, they have now developed lung cancer) they will take a deep drag and as they push the smoke out of their flush cheeks, across their smiling lips, their trembling thighs will relax, the puddle on the bed will soak into the sheets and they will slip off to the other side. This will happen every all over the world.
Then the men will be left a lone, confused, wondering how they will make porn with all the women gone.

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